I Only Fell Down Once (and No One Made a Move to Help Me Up, Jerks)

  posted by Kate Ricci 01 November 2011

Reasons not go to the Matterhorn for the first lift up:

- It is a cattle shoot. Much like the inexplicable narrowing of lanes on 476 south, a wide staircase leads to a landing leads to a much narrower staircase – all filled with skiers, snowboarders, and their equipment.

- It is packed and we are sardines in a can, both waiting for and inside of the cable cars. Therefore, please, sir, in the vibrantly orange jacket that is burning my retinas, do not stand with your hand on your hip lest you elbow me in the kisser.

- Because of said cattle shoot nature, people jockey and shuffle for position. They cut you off or sneak around to the outside lane to edge you out at the second set of stairs. Don’t you think for a second, guy using his kid to edge me out, that using your child as a pawn will prevent me from throwing elbows.

- Look skiers, I understand lugging skis that are taller than you are is cumbersome. I’m short, most things are taller than I, I feel your pain. However, when you foist those bad boys onto your shoulder maybe you want to take a look around and see if maybe there is someone in a 3 foot (91.44 cm) radius of you that you may be smacking in the face with your foot sleds.

Why bum rush the cable car? We’re all going to the same place and pushing the infirm and small children out of the way will not get you up the mountain faster. I mean you little kid with yellow pigtails.

Reason to go to the Matterhorn regardless of time:

author’s note: don’t let my snarkiness cloud the fact I very much enjoyed my time in Zermatt. I just like being snarky sometimes.

You can check out the full post over on Kate’s Blog.